Barely Half-Baked—But Brilliant!

This is…not on point. Just letting you know that up front.

I was sweeping up the kitchen post-dinner. And you know what? I get tired of sweeping. And cleaning in general. And making dinner. And nagging people about homework. And picking books out of puddles in the bathroom post-certain-people's-showers.

But I keep doing it. In fact, I try to do MORE. I try to get ahead of the endless slog of mindless chores that being a parent (possibly, just being a person?) makes you subject to. Why? I realized it's because I have this idea that if you do enough stuff, you will somehow break through this barrier and never have to do anything again. It will be like getting a safety card in Mille Bornes.* It just…it just stops any attempt by the world and its denizens to make you do anything ever again. Because you have done all your work! It will be finished.

Do I recognize that trying to take care of children/a house this way is some cross between martyrdom and crazy? That there is no way on Earth you will ever be done with the laundry, as long as you keep on living, because there will always be more laundry? Er, sort of. Nonetheless, I dream on.

*Mille Bornes is a French card game in which you and an opponent race, adding miles by cards that give distances, and messing with each other by playing "Accident" and "Speed Limit" and "Out of Gas" cards against the other person. A safety card, if you're lucky enough to draw one, acts as a sort of bullet-proof vest against the trouble cards. So if you get "Extra Tank" your opponent might as well throw all his/her "Out of Gas" cards away. Do I know too much about this? Do I mistakenly think that the rules of games are in some way applicable to life? Yes I do.

5 thoughts on “Barely Half-Baked—But Brilliant!

  1. I really can’t tell you how much I love this. My favorite line?
    “I realized it’s because I have this idea that if you do enough stuff, you will somehow break through this barrier and never have to do anything again.”
    Oh, I have this fantasy as well. Although when I get “done” with the laundry, I pretend I am done for a while.


  2. Yes, so with you. I feel like as a walk through the house cleaning, the other rooms have a button that launches things out of drawers and baskets, like they’re all spring loaded to explode after a a few hours of cleanliness.


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