For some reason, today I felt a surge of rage towards all awards ever. This is because I am serene and peaceful person full of useful feelings. Anyway, after the surge of rage I thought, "I'll have my own damn awards! That'll show them!"
Note: as always, it's not entirely clear who "them" is, or just…why any of this.
But then, I realized that I would have to come up with some really excellent award categories. Also, I would have to abolish rules. Or make them. Same thing, really. Like, I don't care what year anything was published. And maybe, I get to say everything and be in charge of everything in the world and whether it's OK or not.
There, I am liking awards better already.
So, my first award goes to…Holes! It wins in the category of "Books that are really freaking good, maybe you forgot and should go back and read them because, oh my God."
Congratulations, Holes! You are the first-ever winner of The Diamond in the Window award, which comes with—a metaphorical diamond!!!! You are so lucky!!!!!
Feel free to award your own awards (?) in this category in the comments. Because I have a feeling there will be more awards coming. That's right, lots of awards, in the very best types of categories. I'm working on it.